


The Gifts They Gave

by dollylux



Series: Fic Advent Calendar 2015: Siblings, Husbands, Lovely Ladies, and Other Miscreants [19]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Chubby Jensen, M/M, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 23:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5474558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollylux/pseuds/dollylux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Padalackles watch old home movies of a Christmas past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gifts They Gave

**Author's Note:**

> day nineteen | prompt: redeem
> 
> i've had a bit of a rough week, and i apologize for not getting this posted yesterday.
> 
> this story is loosely based on the episode of _friends_ 2.14, "the one with the prom video." i've changed their ages around so that jared is two years older than jensen (and megan and jensen are the same age) because i needed jensen ackles to be my rachel green.  <3

The Padaleckis and the Ackles have been celebrating Christmas together since the late 80s. 

Many trends and travesties have been exchanged around the tree in the Padaleckis’ living room, from Teddy Ruxpin and stirrup pants to New Kids on the Block slap bracelets (Jordan was Jensen’s favorite; Megan liked Joey) and windbreakers, straight on through to Pogs, glittery nailpolish (Jensen swiped Mac’s scented pastel collection from her haul in 1998 and has never lived it down), Tamagotchis, and Yak Baks.

The kids started breaking away one by one; first Josh going away to college, and then Jeff, then Jared. Everything changed with Jared. His freshman year was the first Christmas the families celebrated apart, the Ackles going to the Bahamas and the Padaleckis deciding to ski in Aspen.

Jensen remembers being sixteen and sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve, staring at the twinkle light-covered palm trees around the resort and wondering what Jared was up to.

They’d reunited every couple of years for awhile, but it’s been four years since they were all together, with the exception of Josh and Jeff who have their own families now and live in different states. Jensen’s twenty-three now and meandering toward his master’s degree, sharing an apartment with a few friends in downtown Austin and serially dating most of the available, cute gay men in the Austin metropolitan area.

Not to mention he’s lost thirty pounds in the last year, now a trim, tight-bodied little twink where he used to be soft and squishy around the edges. He feels sexy and confident for the first time in his life, and he’s eager to show his family--the Ackles and by extension, the Padaleckis--how good he looks now.

He’s beaming when Sherri opens the door and gasps at the sight of him, only hesitating for a second before she pulls him into the house and into a hug.

“Jensen Ross Ackles!” she exclaims, pulling back to cup his face so she can look at him. Jensen’s heart is racing in his chest, and he feels dizzy with the attention, with how astonished she looks. “Meg! Jared! Jerry! Jensen is here! _You have to see him!_ ”

“Sher, Donna told us he’d… lost some weight,” Jerry says as he comes into the room, giving Jensen an embarrassed smile before hugging him with a little squeeze. “You look great, kid.”

Jensen grins down at his feet, trying not to show how anxious he is to see--

“Jen!” Megan shrieks, thundering down the stairs and actually leaping into Jensen’s arms. He stumbles because he’s not that much bigger than she is, not now, and he can only laugh when Sherri yells at her and tries to pry her off of him. “Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, you look like a _model!_ ”

“Well, I’ve been doing a little modeling,” he admits, giving a helpless laugh at the way she slips down from his body and stares up at him in amazement.

“You’re my hero,” she whispers, her eyes wide.

Jensen grins and shoves at her playfully, stepping deeper into the house so Sherri can close the door behind him.

“You’re the one who’s engaged to a stock broker--”

“Ugh!” Megan waves Jensen off with a dramatic roll of her eyes. “He didn’t even come. He had to work. I’m so annoyed with him right now I--”

“...Oh.” 

It’s a tiny sound, more like an exhale than anything else, but it’s so emphatic that it makes all four of them turn around.

Jared is there at the bottom of the stairs, tall and soft-eyed with hair so long it brushes his shoulders. His hand is clutching at the railing still, and he is staring right at Jensen like he’s a blind man who has just regained his sight.

“...Jensen?” His voice sounds far away, like he’s dreaming, and Jensen has to lower his eyes to hide from that look in Jared’s eyes, from the emotions that sweep over him at the sight of it. He feels like a phony, like he’s playing pretend, like Jared can see him--the real him, the chubby boy with glasses he always was--underneath the man he’s trying so desperately to become.

“Hey, Jared,” he says softly, picking at the hem of his sweater, forcing himself not to look up.

“Doesn’t he look handsome, Jay?” Sherri says, gentle and almost coaxing. She wraps a hand around Jared’s arm and gives it a squeeze, trying to pull him closer to Jensen. “Go on, say hi. You two haven’t seen each other in--”

“A year and a half,” Jared finishes lazily, like he’s still in a daze. “At my 24th birthday party.”

“I, um. I spent a semester in Greece--” Jensen starts, taking a step toward Jared, a strange apology on the tip of his tongue.

“I know,” Jared tells him, finally making eye contact, his gaze so intense, so seeking that it makes Jensen’s face hot. “I saw your pictures on Facebook. How’s… how’s, um--”

“Andre?” Jensen’s face falls at the thought of him, and the way that Sherri and Jerry fade back toward the kitchen is a good indication of how terrible he is at hiding his emotions. “Well. He--”

“He cheated on Jensen,” Megan interrupts, her arms folded over her chest, a glare covering her pretty face. “Went back to Greece this summer and shacked up with some twink from his little pathetic village or whatever and he never--”

“He cheated on you?” Jared sounds stunned, and the step he takes toward Jensen puts them face-to-face, only a foot or so apart. Jensen only shrugs, not really in the mood to talk about it or to even think about Andre and his perfect white teeth and gorgeous, uncut cock. “W--How? How could he cheat on _you_?”

“Something better came along.” Jensen tries to smile but he just can’t do it. He folds his arms over his chest and returns his gaze to his shoes. “Anyway. Enough about me. How’s teaching high school English? Are the kids just as annoying as they were when we were in school?”

Jared groans, reaching up with his big hands to scrub at his face.

“Worse,” he mumbles into his palms.

Jensen grins.

“Kids! Please come help your father set up this Christmas tree before he throws his back out again!”

“Daddy, get off the ladder!” Megan yells from the other room. Jensen blinks a few times, not even really sure when she’d left their conversation, how long she’s been gone. Jared is smiling at him, a small, secret smile with those fairytale-worthy eyes of his, and he reaches out to give Jensen’s sleeve a tug. 

“C’mon,” he says, leading Jensen with a nod toward the living room.

Jared has always, always been so gentle with him, even back when Josh used to try and make Jensen play tackle football with them. Jensen had grown up with Jared’s tenderness, with the cradle of that kind of care, and it’s something that he’s always appreciated on some level but never truly noticed until Jared wasn’t around. Suddenly, the boys in his life weren’t so careful with him, they liked to grip and bruise and pry and grind at him like he was a plaything, and he’d caught himself thinking, especially on those nights when he felt empty and had too much to drink, that Jared would never, ever treat him like this.

But Jensen has also always known that Jared is one of the good guys, if not the best one.

 

“Mm-mm- _mm_ , look at that tight little ass,” Megan practically purrs from behind her fourth glass of wine, her eyes on Jensen’s body where he’s leaned over and tossing another log onto the fire. “What’s your secret?”

“ _Megan!_ ” Jared and Sherri exclaim together, something that makes Megan and Mac burst out laughing at the exact same time. Donna looks a little scandalized but even she is laughing. Jerry and Alan look up from Jerry’s phone where they’re checking the game times for tomorrow, both of them blank-faced and lost, thankfully. 

Jensen tries to casually keep his back to Megan as he makes his way over to the couch, settling in beside Jared and grabbing his own glass of wine.

“I think that’s a secret I’ll be keeping to myself,” he manages, giving Megan a wink before he takes a sip of sweet rosé. He very carefully keeps from looking over at Jared, especially when they’re talking about his new body. All through dinner, people kept poking at him for details about his diet, his exercise regime, how he’s maintaining it, but Jared had kept quiet on the other side of the table where he always sits, right across from Jensen, his face carefully neutral, not speaking until the topic was changed.

“Anybody want some eggnog?” Donna asks, standing up and heading for the kitchen. Nearly everyone raises their hand, and when Jensen doesn’t, that’s when he feels Jared looking at him.

“You love eggnog,” comes Jared’s soft voice, quiet enough so that only Jensen can hear him.

Jensen shifts on the couch, fidgeting with his wine glass, and he lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug even as his cheeks burn.

“Yeah, well,” he says with a laugh. “I think maybe that was the problem.”

He doesn’t have to look over to know exactly what expression Jared’s wearing now.

“The problem? Why was it a problem?”

“It was just…” Another shrug, a tense one this time, and he chances a furtive glance over at Jared only to be caught by those eyes. He searches them helplessly as he flounders through an explanation of how ugly he used to feel, how invisible and painfully _stared at_ he was. “I… I look better now. I’m better now.”

“Jensen,” Jared says with a shake of his head, his eyes wide and solemn, “you were _perfect_. You’ve always been perfect. Just the way you are. No matter what size pants you wear.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Jensen whispers, his eyes suddenly burning with tears, his throat tight as a heat rushes all the way across his face and down his neck, his chest. “Please, can we just--”

“Home videos!” Megan cries from somewhere in front of the entertainment center. 

“What?! No way.” Mac takes a glass of eggnog from the tray her mother is carrying and scampers over to Megan, dropping down to sit beside her in front of the opened drawer containing way too many outdated VHS tapes from their combined childhoods. “Are there any from Christmases?”

Jared takes a glass from the tray his mother offers, and Jensen can smell it, the creamy, nutmeggy goodness of eggnog. He licks his lips when he hears Jared take a sip, and his heart races when the glass is suddenly in view.

“Have some,” Jared tells him.

Jensen tries to edge away from him but ends up bumping into his mother, shaking his head almost desperately.

“Jared, I… I really can’t--”

“If you’re just sharing a glass with me, then that’s not really cheating, right? You can have a few sips. I’m not asking you to chug the entire bowl of it.” A dimple peeks through when Jared smirks at him, a clever eyebrow raised. Those eyes have always been Jensen’s downfall. 

“I guess not,” he admits, already anticipating the flavor that he hasn’t had in nearly two years since he’d started this diet.

He’ll never tell anyone that he’d started it after Jared brought a boy to his 24th birthday party, a beautiful blonde boy whose tiny waist tucked right into Jared’s curved arm, exposed hipbone snugged into Jared’s big hand. Everyone had jumped into the lake and Jensen had stayed on the boat, self-conscious around his family for the first time, and he’d made a promise with himself, then and there.

The eggnog tastes divine.

It’s thick like a melted milkshake and tastes like Christmas, the rum in it warming Jensen’s throat as he takes a couple of savoring sips. He hands it back to Jared with his eyes lidded in contentment, swallowing before he licks his lips.

“Yeah?” Jared asks quietly, smiling like he already knows. And of course he already knows. He’s Jared.

Jensen can only nod, hiding a shy smile while Jared gently bumps their shoulders together. Their fingers touch when Jared takes the glass back, and the only thing that keeps Jensen from snuggling into him in a moment of fitful courage is the tiny cheer that goes up in front of the TV.

“Found one!” Megan exclaims, triumphantly holding up a tape. “Christmas of ‘03.”

“Of course we still had a video camera in 2003,” Mac says with a laugh, finishing off her own glass of eggnog and setting it on the coffee table behind her. “Put it in!”

“Well, this oughta be good and humiliating,” Jared sighs, settling in deeper beside Jensen on the couch so that they’re pressed from shoulder to elbow. Jensen smiles, nestling into him and resting his cheek on the firm curve of Jared’s shoulder. If he closes his eyes and holds in a sigh, it’s his secret.

“Mom, your hair!” Megan laughs before the rest of the room joins her. “I forgot you tried bangs.”

“Hey, we promised we’d never speak of it!” Sherri is grinning by the time Jensen opens his eyes and glances over at her, and it makes him relax, glad she’s not upset or embarrassed. 

_”Jerry, is it recording?” Sherri yawns before she even gets the sentence out. They’re standing in the stairwell, the lights and decorations visible at the foot of the stairs behind her, the loud laughter and voices of the rest of their combined clans drifting up into the speakers of the video camera._

_“Of course,” Jerry says, almost impatiently. “Are we gonna do this or not?”_

_“I don’t know why we do this in the morning. You’re the biggest grump in the morning,” Sherri mumbles before turning to lead them down the stairs._

_“We have to do it in the morning,” Jerry replies from behind the camera, the view of the stairs and the back of Sherri’s head shaking as he walks down behind her. “The kids would revolt if we didn’t.”_

“It’s true,” Jared says from beside Jensen, almost just soft enough for Jensen to hear. He grins for it, practically snuggled into Jared’s side. He’s never felt as comfortable as he does here next to him.

_”You ready, son?” Jerry asks, turning the camera on Jared who is there pacing at the foot of the stairs, a small box in his hand wrapped in shiny red paper with a big green bow on it. He looks up at the camera, his eyes wide._

_“Yeah, I… I guess so.”_

“Okay, forget Mom’s hair,” Megan says between bites from the giant container of mixed flavors of popcorn open at her side, “Jared, what the hell, bro?”

Jared is quiet beside Jensen all of a sudden, not even bothering to defend himself. His entire body is tense against Jensen’s, and he looks up to find Jared’s cheeks bright red, his eyes narrowed.

“Can we please turn this off?” he asks quietly.

“No! Jared, get over yourself, I was just teasing.” Megan smiles good-naturedly before throwing a piece of cheddar popcorn at her brother.

_”Say Merry Christmas, Padalackles!” Jerry says from behind the camera._

_“Merry Christmas!” comes the chorus of ten voices, all of them turning to wave at the camera with bright, awake smiles. Everyone of them is smiling except for Jensen who is tucked into the corner of the couch wearing green flannel pajama pants over his still-soft body, his full cheeks pink as he keeps his head staunchly down, avoiding the camera._

“Oh, I remember this,” Jensen says, giving a self-deprecating laugh, looking away from the puffy lump of himself on the TV screen. “This was the year I wanted the 3rd generation iPod, and y’all refused to get it for me because I already had the 2nd--”

“Don’t spoil the ending, son!” Alan says with a grin, leaning forward in his seat and refocusing on the video.

_”Jensen, smile! It’s Christmas.” Donna wraps her arms around her son and kisses his cheek, something that only manages to make him frown harder, turn a brighter shade of pink._

_“Whatever,” Jensen mumbles, trying to shrug her off as Jared and Sherri settle in on the floor._

_“Are we ready?” Mac asks from her station in front of the tree, wearing a Santa hat. At fourteen, it’s her second year playing Santa, and she takes it very seriously._

“God, I was such a brat,” Jensen whispers to himself, too quiet for anyone else to hear him. He vividly remembers the disappointment of that morning, of knowing he wasn’t going to get the one thing he’d convinced himself he _needed_.

_Everyone rips into their presents once they’re all distributed, cries of joy and gratitude going up almost constantly as the boxes of clothes and electronics and video games and DVDs get stacked higher and higher._

_Sherri stands up to grab a trash bag and start picking up the shredded wrapping paper and bows, when Donna speaks up from the ottoman in front of the fireplace._

_“Oh, what’s this?” She holds up a silver box with reindeer on the paper, a blue velvet ribbon wrapped around it. She gives it a shake, doing a terrible job at playing dumb._

“Can we please turn this off?” Jared asks again, louder this time, shifting on the couch to sit up, nearly making Jensen fall into the space he’d left in his wake. Jensen sits up and frowns at him, glancing around the room to see if anyone else is as agitated as Jared seems. Sherri and Jerry are sitting on the loveseat nearby, both of them frowning and watching Jared worriedly.

“Nooo, this part is so cute!” Mac whines, scooting closer to the TV to sit beside Megan and dig into the popcorn.

“Well, I can’t watch,” Jared says, his voice thin and practically shaking. He stands up and wades through the legs and chairs to get to the back of the room. Jensen frowns, about to speak up and ask him what’s wrong when he hears his own voice from the TV.

_”What?!” Jensen shrieks, his voice lifting higher than it has since before puberty. “Ohmygod, Mom! Dad! You guys tricked me!”_

_He’s laughing and crying at the same time, hugging the smooth white box of a brand new iPod classic to his chest while Donna pets his messy morning-rumpled hair and kisses his forehead._

_“Merry Christmas, baby,” she grins, tears in her own eyes._

_The camera turns away from the scene as Jensen starts to rip into the plastic wrap and refocuses again on Jared who is across the room, sitting on the recliner with the green-wrapped gift in his lap, looking absolutely stunned._

_“Jared,” Jerry whispers from behind the camera. “Jared, it’s--”_

_“We didn’t know, honey,” Sherri says quietly, sitting on the arm of the chair and looking down at her son worriedly. “I promise we didn’t know.”_

_Jared’s chin trembles as he looks down at the gift in his almost lifeless hands, and he shakes his head even as a tear falls from his eyes, dropping with a splat on the red bow._

_“Turn the camera off, Jerry,” Sherri says suddenly, climbing up from the chair. “Turn it--”_

The entire room is quiet now, and Jensen can’t stop staring at the now noise-filled screen. He feels sick, like something terrible happened but he doesn’t know why or how, like everyone else knew and tried to keep it from him. 

“Jared,” Donna says suddenly from somewhere off to Jensen’s left. “Honey, what--”

“He saved up for months for that damn thing,” Sherri says with a sigh, like she’s finally telling the truth after years of silence. “Jensen had called him at school and told him how you weren’t going to buy it for him for Christmas. And he was so upset, Jared just…”

“Mom,” Jared’s voice suddenly breaks in. “Please.”

Jensen stirs then, blinking rapidly as he looks away from the TV and lifts up from the couch to see Jared who is standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his face tear-stained and stricken, but he won’t look up at anyone.

“He spent five hundred dollars on that thing,” Sherri continues, like she can’t help it. “Barely got anyone else anything for Christmas. He spent weeks making a playlist for Jensen that he--”

“Oh, Jared,” Megan says, the words hanging heavy in the air. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Yeah, well.” Jared shrugs, one side of his mouth going up in a smile even as his chin shakes. His eyes are dull when they lift and find Megan just for a second, his hands in his pockets. He looks so young now, so broken open, and the realizations flood Jensen like a tidal wave.

Jared had always been popular in school, even if it was just with the smart kids and the theater geeks. He’d been skinny and lanky and had a great smile that had girls chasing after him long before Jensen realized that he had a crush on Jared, too.

He had always been nice to Jensen, always looked out for him, always talked to him in the halls and invited him along to see movies and let Jensen be the first person to play a new video game with him, but he’d always thought it was pity, that Jared was just being a good big brother like he was to Megan, that he felt guilty because of how pathetic Jensen was on his own.

His life plays before him in an abbreviated rush, and he sees it now, that look in Jared’s eyes that Jensen just thought was _Jared_ ; it was always a look just for him, for Jensen, even at his very ugliest, at his very worst. 

Jensen stands up from the couch, turned to face Jared who is looking at him now like Jensen is going to deliver the deathblow. Jensen crosses the room without taking his eyes off of Jared, his newfound confidence making each step more decided than the last, and the entire world narrows down to the space between them that gets smaller and smaller until Jensen is there in front of Jared and he can smell the salt of his tears and hear the shaky rushes of his breathing. Jensen searches his eyes and finds the truth there, every single word of it, and he reaches up to run his hands up the firm line of Jared’s chest, over his collarbones and his neck to cup his cheeks. Jared’s hands move up to cup his hips in a way he never has before, with a hunger that Jensen has never felt from Jared before, and he hears Megan gasp behind him before he lifts up onto the tips of his toes and catches Jared’s mouth in the most consuming kiss he’s ever given.

Jared whimpers against his mouth, his fingers gripping at Jensen’s sweater, clutching the soft knit and using it to drag Jensen closer, and Jensen goes without hesitation, moves where Jared puts him, arches how Jared needs him to. The feeling of Jared’s tongue in his mouth is foreign in how complete it makes Jensen feel, how right everything suddenly is; like the last lock has slipped into place.

He melts against Jared, hugging tighter at his neck while Jared lifts him a little and spins him, grinning against his mouth. Jensen laughs and it comes out as a broken sob, and when he smiles, Jared kisses at it.

“It’s always been you,” Jared breathes against his lips, his hands now cupping Jensen’s face, nearly cradling his entire skull in the expanse of them, his thumbs rubbing over Jensen’s now kissed-soft mouth like he just can’t believe it. “Always, Jen.”

Jensen’s eyes fall closed as he sighs, feeling completely weightless for the first time in his life, feeling caught and kept in Jared’s careful hands as he settles into the love that he never realized he’s always had.

“You’re paying for half of the wedding,” Alan announces behind him. 

“I know, I know,” Jerry replies with a sigh, like it’s an old argument.

**Author's Note:**

> [rebloggable post about this story.](http://dollylux.tumblr.com/post/135578323176/dollyluxs-fic-advent-calendar-2015-siblings)


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